The last 2 days were like those spent in a boot camp with hard labor. While I have been churning out presentations on action plans on seemingly path-breaking ideas, I have little hope that any of it will ever see the light of the day. I have been thinking hard on why my interest in what I do has waned to such abysmal levels.
Looking back I realized that this was mainly because most of the initiatives initially started with a lot of enthusiasm and support from the stake holders. Once the idea is germinated, I am assigned with the task of developing these ideas into operational tasks with defined goals and timelines get the final output that we intend to get out of the idea. I then chart out the action plan and start the implementation. As the time the implementation nears completion; the stakeholders make a complete u-turn on the plan or become a bottleneck themselves and deny a meaningful closure to the initiative. It’s very difficult to maintain your motivation to perform when you do not see an output for your time and effort as it robs you off the sense of achievement.
I guess the only way to keep yourself going in such situations is to change your point of reference to which you associate your achievement. Rather that weighing the achievement on the output, one must be contempt with fact that you done your part of the plan with a closure on all your activities and that by itself is an achievement.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
The devils of 'Procrastination'
Monday was a drag. I slept over the work I had shoved under the carpet on Friday meaning to finish them at leisure during the weekend. I had planned to wake up early and finish it off by Monday morning. As the Monday dawn started breaking in, I felt like I wasn’t prepared to face it just yet. I couldn’t get myself to believe that the weekend was over and the weekly drudgery had started. It was not that I wanted to turn back the clock; I just didn’t want to get back into the herd just yet. I was reeling under the anguish and despair on facing one whole week again. Then the rain gods shined upon me with their incessant showers bringing in hope that I’ll be stuck home after all. So what if the drainage systems in Chennai have improved and flooding has reduced drastically. I can’t take that risk. I snuggled back into my blanket and kept myself online just to make sure there weren’t going to be any nasty surprises coming in from work. Rage of Angels (Sidney Shelton) had kept me pinned in that position and by the time I got out I realized that I had skipped breakfast and lunch.
Though I hated to be under the pressure of a tight deadline, I seemed to be most productive during these instances. I dealt with my pilled up office work early next morning, at least enough to cover my ass from immediate fire. I have been doing this right from my school days. I keep postponing all the homework, assignments, and exam preparation until the last moment. I dive in only when alarm bells start ringing when it dawns to me that not much time is left. I get angry at myself for not starting the work earlier and start performing with a vengeance. So, though I finish my tasks, the accomplishment always comes with a pinch of salt that I could have done better had I started earlier with the same vigor. Back to work now…
Though I hated to be under the pressure of a tight deadline, I seemed to be most productive during these instances. I dealt with my pilled up office work early next morning, at least enough to cover my ass from immediate fire. I have been doing this right from my school days. I keep postponing all the homework, assignments, and exam preparation until the last moment. I dive in only when alarm bells start ringing when it dawns to me that not much time is left. I get angry at myself for not starting the work earlier and start performing with a vengeance. So, though I finish my tasks, the accomplishment always comes with a pinch of salt that I could have done better had I started earlier with the same vigor. Back to work now…
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Love thy neighbors???!!!!
The rains were one the last things that dampened my spirits this weekend. I had got 2 sms’s within a span of 2 hours from my landlord, one to vacate the house and the later an apology sms dismissing the whole issue. The issue was that my neighbors complained of mental trauma due to the sight of spotting women entering my house at various instances.
All my neighbor’s scopes are focused on my house. Being bachelors makes us exciting subjects to train their eyes and ears on. Again what are they mad about? Women don’t come about in revealing clothes to tempt their desperate husbands, they haven’t witnessed any public display of affection which can scar their children’s minds more than what they see on TV, nor have they heard anything sounding lurid coming out of my house even if they stick their ears to my wall. All they see is women enter and leave, which makes their imagination go wild with possibilities. Again the possibility that we might just be having a simple conversation is too uninteresting for their perverted minds. Now that they haven’t seen or heard anything, they also put their creative minds to their best use and conjure wild imaginations of orgies and other fantasies that they feel bachelors indulge in the very instant a woman enters their house. Though they haven’t actually witnessed anything, they feel that they have been traumatized due to all the imaginations that creep within them. I live with a male roommate and guys visit my house too. Thank god the possibility of homosexuality is not exciting enough for them. I am not sure if they at least spared my old maid out of this. Even if I was making out with a woman inside my house, how are they getting affected by it? Are they to decide who I should be friends with and what goes on with my life?
What if I were to flip the same accusations on them? Does being married give them immunity to lust and desire? Why can’t we assume that these married wives and husbands are individually fornicating with every person they let inside their house? Or getting guests to join in their act? Even if they are doing one or all of the above, why should it bother me as long as my privacy and dignity are not getting affected? If they feel outraged they should understand that an ‘single’ man would feel no different.
Makes me feel like I am living around a bunch of Talibans where a person’s right to live his or her life is not in their hands but in the hands of a group of barbaric clerics. People need to grow up…
All my neighbor’s scopes are focused on my house. Being bachelors makes us exciting subjects to train their eyes and ears on. Again what are they mad about? Women don’t come about in revealing clothes to tempt their desperate husbands, they haven’t witnessed any public display of affection which can scar their children’s minds more than what they see on TV, nor have they heard anything sounding lurid coming out of my house even if they stick their ears to my wall. All they see is women enter and leave, which makes their imagination go wild with possibilities. Again the possibility that we might just be having a simple conversation is too uninteresting for their perverted minds. Now that they haven’t seen or heard anything, they also put their creative minds to their best use and conjure wild imaginations of orgies and other fantasies that they feel bachelors indulge in the very instant a woman enters their house. Though they haven’t actually witnessed anything, they feel that they have been traumatized due to all the imaginations that creep within them. I live with a male roommate and guys visit my house too. Thank god the possibility of homosexuality is not exciting enough for them. I am not sure if they at least spared my old maid out of this. Even if I was making out with a woman inside my house, how are they getting affected by it? Are they to decide who I should be friends with and what goes on with my life?
What if I were to flip the same accusations on them? Does being married give them immunity to lust and desire? Why can’t we assume that these married wives and husbands are individually fornicating with every person they let inside their house? Or getting guests to join in their act? Even if they are doing one or all of the above, why should it bother me as long as my privacy and dignity are not getting affected? If they feel outraged they should understand that an ‘single’ man would feel no different.
Makes me feel like I am living around a bunch of Talibans where a person’s right to live his or her life is not in their hands but in the hands of a group of barbaric clerics. People need to grow up…
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Inglorious Basterds
I successfully completed 21 entries as planned in this space and broke the routine yesterday due to Inglorious Basterds.
This 2 and a half hour Quentin flick has the Nazi occupation of France as a backdrop. The scenes were brilliantly taken. The movie had those characteristic lengthy dialogues which were delivered with an uneasy calm during an extremely tense situation that always kept you at the edge of your seat. The composure of the character during an extremely volatile situation depicts the dementedness that resides within. I couldn’t digest the ending as it thoroughly digresses from the actual sequence of events in history. It has left me with an uncomfortable feeling like an unreachable itch. All the while I was not expecting something so very different from what has been written in our history books. I guess that’s the feeling that Tarentino wanted us to leave with. Not with a feeling of completeness but with that of intriguing bewilderment.
As it usually happens with most of his flicks, I need to watch this movie again to really understand the story of these basterds.
This 2 and a half hour Quentin flick has the Nazi occupation of France as a backdrop. The scenes were brilliantly taken. The movie had those characteristic lengthy dialogues which were delivered with an uneasy calm during an extremely tense situation that always kept you at the edge of your seat. The composure of the character during an extremely volatile situation depicts the dementedness that resides within. I couldn’t digest the ending as it thoroughly digresses from the actual sequence of events in history. It has left me with an uncomfortable feeling like an unreachable itch. All the while I was not expecting something so very different from what has been written in our history books. I guess that’s the feeling that Tarentino wanted us to leave with. Not with a feeling of completeness but with that of intriguing bewilderment.
As it usually happens with most of his flicks, I need to watch this movie again to really understand the story of these basterds.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Progeny
Looking at my parents, it seems like they have handled the different facets of their lives very smoothly. Their work, marriage, upbringing of 2 children and finally helping them chart their own lives; everything seems to be flawless. This makes me wonder what is it that motivates a person to promote their gene pool to the next generation. Though the offspring carries his/her genes, it’s not them. It is another being which will eventually go farther from their lives and makes its own roadmap.
It’s the love that you have for the other person that makes all the troubles of bearing and raising children worthwhile. Children in a way are souvenirs that 2 individual leave as a symbol of their wish to stay together. It’s just like wanting to make something with more or less equal contributions from both parties. As this new creation is a symbol of their wish to stay together, the 2 individuals selflessly pool in all their energies for the well being of their new creation. They relate the well being of their new creation to be directly proportional to success of their initial decision of being committed to each other. Now, even if one person leaves the company of the other, they can always look back at the well being of their creation which will remind themselves of their cherished moments when they had made a commitment to stay together. Thus nurturing ones children is not something I consider as an entirely selfless act. You just want to show that you as a pair are perfect because your child is perfect.
It’s the love that you have for the other person that makes all the troubles of bearing and raising children worthwhile. Children in a way are souvenirs that 2 individual leave as a symbol of their wish to stay together. It’s just like wanting to make something with more or less equal contributions from both parties. As this new creation is a symbol of their wish to stay together, the 2 individuals selflessly pool in all their energies for the well being of their new creation. They relate the well being of their new creation to be directly proportional to success of their initial decision of being committed to each other. Now, even if one person leaves the company of the other, they can always look back at the well being of their creation which will remind themselves of their cherished moments when they had made a commitment to stay together. Thus nurturing ones children is not something I consider as an entirely selfless act. You just want to show that you as a pair are perfect because your child is perfect.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Released off the book’s clutches
I managed to complete a book by Jeffery Archer called Kane & Abel within 4-5 days which is quiet an achievement as I usually take an average of 1-2 weeks to complete a novel. The book was engaging enough keep me hooked throughout the weekend. I even sneaked the book into my office to complete as much as possible and read the last page by late evening yesterday.
Though a little sad that the story had come to an end, I was very much relieved that I was finally out of the clutches of the book. The novel had completely taken over my time with little time left for anything else. Though I had gone to Chetan’s place for the weekend to spend some time with my nephew, I spent far less time than I intended too. The guitar sessions too had to take a back seat. In fact I didn’t realize that it’s been about 2 days since I called up my folks.
Though Mr. Archer had done a commendable job with the novel, I always had this problem with most of the novels I read. The moment I start reading I get so lost in it that nothing else matters any more. The second I open the book, I imagine myself living as a silent witness to the sequence of events narrated in the novel. Much to the displeasure of everybody surrounding me, I become oblivious to their presence and squeeze in as much time as possible with the novel. My pathetic reading speed doesn’t help either. I always thought that was mainly because of the way I attempt to visualize the novel. As I read each line, I try to imagine every piece of detail and more as narrated in the book and try and make a mental movie of it. But then, I came to realize that that’s what most of the people do and its just that I tend to take too many mental retakes by reading the same lines over and over again. Unfortunately I didn’t seem to show the same interest with any of my academic books, but then they weren’t authored by Stephen King or Archer either.
I have a Sidney Sheldon in a cupboard but I dare not open it now. Need to survive the real world first and may be give in to the realm of imagination during the coming weekend and pray it shouldn’t spill over to the next Monday.
Though a little sad that the story had come to an end, I was very much relieved that I was finally out of the clutches of the book. The novel had completely taken over my time with little time left for anything else. Though I had gone to Chetan’s place for the weekend to spend some time with my nephew, I spent far less time than I intended too. The guitar sessions too had to take a back seat. In fact I didn’t realize that it’s been about 2 days since I called up my folks.
Though Mr. Archer had done a commendable job with the novel, I always had this problem with most of the novels I read. The moment I start reading I get so lost in it that nothing else matters any more. The second I open the book, I imagine myself living as a silent witness to the sequence of events narrated in the novel. Much to the displeasure of everybody surrounding me, I become oblivious to their presence and squeeze in as much time as possible with the novel. My pathetic reading speed doesn’t help either. I always thought that was mainly because of the way I attempt to visualize the novel. As I read each line, I try to imagine every piece of detail and more as narrated in the book and try and make a mental movie of it. But then, I came to realize that that’s what most of the people do and its just that I tend to take too many mental retakes by reading the same lines over and over again. Unfortunately I didn’t seem to show the same interest with any of my academic books, but then they weren’t authored by Stephen King or Archer either.
I have a Sidney Sheldon in a cupboard but I dare not open it now. Need to survive the real world first and may be give in to the realm of imagination during the coming weekend and pray it shouldn’t spill over to the next Monday.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Lazy Monday
The weekend has been so chilled out, it’s really sad that I have to drag myself to office today. I think the lazy cold weather also needs to be blamed for putting up so much resistance to get the work. The remuneration and present job roles are not very encouraging either. I rather spend the whole day under the blanket reading a novel munching popcorn. I have been thinking about planning a trip to the north for a long time, this should be the ideal month for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
