Winters

Winter seems to have set in. But alas, winter in Chennai only means more rains and cloudy afternoons. It is still and will always be far too hot for woolens. The cold mornings and nights during my stay in Bangalore trip were reminiscent of the winters in Noida and Delhi. I miss those Delhi winters where you need to cover yourself with 2 sweaters and tuck yourself deep inside fat comfy razai’s to escape the icy chill. Unlike tropical Chennai, where you can survive with cotton throughout the year, one can notice a marked difference in the apparel and fabric worn. The T-shirts and shirts are covered with fluffy sweaters or thick woolen coats. Everyone right from the janitor walks around in leather shoes or snickers. Everybody seemed to be well dressed. Groundnut and egg stalls prop up in street corners at night. Gulping down a piping hot boiled egg covered with a dash of salt, chilli and pepper seemed just what was needed to brave the biting cold.
For now, I need to content myself with the fact that I use my cotton blanket not just to cover myself from menacing mosquitoes but also to get some warmth from the mildly cold morning breeze due to the showers.

Some useless jabber on a rainy morning

The skies have started leaking. Though the showers have been considerate enough to lash out exactly when I am in the warm confines of my office or home, I am sure that one of these days I am going to be soaked to my undies.

I have had fun with the monsoon when I prepared myself for it, which means I don’t have to worry about reaching someplace or getting wet. There were days then I just take my bike out for a ride to feel the water from the skies pierce into my face or lie down on the terrace for a heavenly acupuncture massage by the rain drops.

It’s very amusing to visualize the journey of each droplet starting from the water molecules being extracted from underground, consumed and excreted, travel through sewers mix with the sea, get picked by the sun, soar into the sky and join the clouds, then jump back to earth and splashing right on my face. Coming to think of it,if we visualize ourselves as the eyes of the droplet, the saga of the droplet is fit enough to be filmed as an epic movie. What an idea sirji.. :D

Arranged debacles

I really can’t understand the arranged marriage concept. I do not understand how two people can decide to be together with just a couple of meetings. I have gone through the routine myself and I am still not able to get the hang of it. Even after the meetings I am simply not sure if this is the one. How does that happen? What are the areas that you can and cannot compromise on? How can you be sure that you’ll be attracted to her later if you don’t feel that way now? The problem is you can’t keep the others hanging about your decision. They cannot accept the fact the there is a grey area between Yes and No. For example, “I think I am fine with her right now, but I am not too sure if she is the one for me.” These kinds of statements are scorned upon by the elders. They don’t understand that you’ll need sometime to actually figure out if this is the right thing for you. It might also seem unfair to keep the folks of the girl’s side hanging for so long. I have hurt a few due to my actions. Though guilty of causing disappointment, I am glad that they and I are relieved of the pain as early as possible than carrying it on for the rest of our lives.

Our animal side

Why is it that male actors get paid more than their female counterparts? The reasons that immediately pop in are that the male actor plays a dominant role in the movie and that the general public usually prefers a male centric movie.

Ideally, the public includes both men and women, in equal proportions. This means in general both men and women want the male actor to have a more dominant role and hence the higher pay.

Hence we can either infer that the majority of the movie goers are men which, I don’t think is true or that women want the men to have an upper over them.

If we have to find out why women like to be lead, we need to look at our pre historic ancestor’s lifestyle. Both men and women hunt together. The man mates with the women and she gets pregnant. This makes her very ineffective as a hunter; hence she depends on her male counterpart for her survival. While the female is submissive to the male and needs his support, the male can survive by himself and only needs the female to mate. This way both male and female wanted the male to have a more important role in society. But as we started evolving, women started becoming more and more independent. They are no longer required to hunt and were very much capable surviving themselves.

However, though the women have evolved into being far more independent, there seems to be a lag in the evolution their preference in watching a female take the lead in a movie. It’s the women who are responsible for the lower reimbursement of the female actors as they themselves do not want to see women taking center stage. The movies seem to be catering to the inherent animalistic need of a woman to be lead, to let the man take control of her. It’s the same with sports, women and both like to see men play and hence more pay for the male sportsman compared to women.

The only abrasion to this phenomenon is in the fashion industry. Female models are paid more than their male counterparts. Again the fashion industry is still catering to our prehistoric or animalistic need of viewing a woman as a trophy. Here somehow both women and men prefer women sizzle the ramp.

It also makes me think of the male and female psychology. Going back in time again, men didn’t mind or rather preferred teaming up with other men to increase their chances of survival. A woman would not prefer the same because the presence of another woman means she will have to compete with her to get the best man to mate with her and ensure that her genes are jelled with best and thus increasing the chances of the survival of her genes in the subsequent generation. Another woman reduces her choice of men. She doesn’t need the woman for her survival in the presence of a male. This means, as we still have our animal instincts alive in us, a group of men or a group of men and one woman would make a more effective team than a group of women.

How much ever humane, we still want to keep alive the animal in us.grrrr groowlll:)

Dealing with the perfectionist

Being ambitious or a perfectionist puts a lot strain into a relationship. Its detrimental to the person they are with as they’ll be bogged down with the pressure of not being able to be match up with the expectation that is being imposed on them due to the flawlessness displayed by the purist.

A partner would prefer the other to have some flaws so that he/she can be content of being better in that area or be happy with the fact that they have an opportunity to take the credit of reducing their partner’s short comings. Sometimes they would not exactly prefer or expect the other to improve beyond their level, rather show improvement which puts their partner at par or lightly lesser than them so that they still hold the title of being masters in that area.

A perfectionist will want his or her partner to improve in some areas to measure up to his/her own stature. This causes a not of stress for the partner if he/she isn’t really focused on that area and is unwillingly pulled into it. It makes the partner feel miserable because they feel that they are not good enough. It demoralizes and severely diminishes the feeling of self worth of that person.

There are mainly two ways by which a person tries to deal with a obsessive partner.
1. Not trying to compete in that area at all.
2. Positioning the area that the partner is good at as vain, trivial and not worth the effort.

Each has its on side effects on both the perfectionist and the partner. The first method disappoints the perfectionist that he/she is unable to inspire his/her partner to match up to his/her expectations. The partner might take a hit on his/her own self-esteem as he/she might feel that they are being looked down upon by others.

The second method if successful causes a steep drop in the feeling of self worth in the minds of the perfectionist. He/she tries to mask his/her superiority in that area and plays down any attempt to showcase his/her supremacy with regards to that area

This is what I think the purist and his/her partner needs to do…

The perfectionist needs to accept his/her partner for what he/she is and not try to impose their ideals. He/she must learn to appreciate difference in the thought process of their partner which will help widen the range of his/her own perspective.

The partner of the perfectionist needs to learn to appreciate the qualities of the perfectionist and not try to trivialize his/her qualities. Rather than seeing their superiority in a particular area as being detrimental to his/her own self worth, it should be seen as a wonderful opportunity to get to get inspired and upgrade themselves to become better individuals.

Another way they deal with your superior aptitude in a particular area is by not trying to compete in that area at all.

This entry is too dry to derserve a title

My laptop conked off while I was describing why Diwali has been unique this time and my travel back to Chennai alone in Achan’s 800.

I am beginning to get nervous about my migration plans. The prospect of landing in a foreign land and then looking out for a job is becoming scarier by the day, but I still have a feeling that everything will work out just fine.

My thoughts aren’t structured towards anything in particular. Everything in my mind is hovering around with none of them descending low enough to grab on and deep dive into. The intention of creating this blog was to express my thoughts but it’s turning out into a ‘what I have been doing today’ log. May be I am just a drifter today.

Diwali weekend

I have been in Pondy for the last 2 days, celebrating Diwali with my parents. I thought I’d rather be with Achan and Amma for the festival than be with my brother now that Chetan and Chechi have their own son to celebrate this festive occasion with.

Though not very kicked about spending money on crackers, I bought a Diwali set anyways to go with the routine. Amma surprised everybody by stepping in first and bursting crackers for the first time in her life. She was no longer afraid of them irrespective of their size or the number of crackers attached to one wick, she burst them all exuding the confidence of a veteran. There was no one around to join us in lighting up the other sparklers and other fireworks, so Amma and I did the honors. Being just two of us, the activity soon became more of a chore which we wanted just get over with. The festive day also brought in some more ‘1st time’ landmarks for Chetan and Chechi. Arav seemed to have rolled over for the 1st time and has now learned to laugh.

Diwali has been my most favorite festival right from my childhood due to the excitement it brings in. Even now when we all are aware the pollution that fireworks cause, I still cannot resist the urge to lit up some ‘Atom bombs’. Diwali will seem incomplete if there are no shreds of paper covering your front porch and the lingering smell of burn gun powder in the air.

These two days were lit with exclusive family moments making this Diwali both unique and joyful.

Snapped my 1st guitar string

One of the strings of my guitar (the 1st one, thinnest) snapped while I was practicing last night. As I was adjusting the knob of the string to set the right note, it snapped and lashed across my strumming fingers causing a sharp pain to shot across my index finger which promised me that bleeding would follow. But, at last there was no bleeding just pain.

The sting throbbed through my finger combined with the psychological sting of having lost a string. Though I have been playing it regularly, this occurrence was beyond my comprehension. However, I couldn’t ignore the faint but clear self appreciation within me which said I practiced so diligently that I broke on off one of the strings. The guitar is barely 2 weeks old. I never thought I’ll have to deal any repairs for at least the next 3 months. It starkly reminded me of the mortality of life and everything around us. While the fact that nothing is forever might sound too harsh, it shouldn’t be ignored or dishearten us. We should take that as an opportunity to explore new things. If we were stuck with the same thing, we would have never known other opportunities that existed. Rather than sulking on the fact that we lost something, we must realize that we have been given an opportunity to explore new things. Pushing us out of our comfort zone will be hard on us, but it presents itself as a chance to break our shackles and explore.

I have been wanting to by a plectrum, but I have been postponing this because of my laziness to figure out the location of the music shops around my area. This broken string will force me to get up and find out. Look at a good part… This way I get to figure out the location of my nearest shop, buy my plectrum and repair my guitar. Perfect.

Dealing with the dragon

(Before somebody decides to sue me...the facts and figures given here might not be entirely true and I might have got some of them wrong; however, these are my personal views and nothing more.)

I was deeply shocked by the statement that the Chinese government had issued in response to our Prime Minister’s visit to Arunachal Pradesh. They seem to be deeply disturbed by the fact that a senior government official is visiting an area which they claim is theirs. They call it ‘disputed area’.

Arunachal Pradesh has always been an integral part of India. The turnout of 71% during the elections emphasizes the fact that the people living there think so too. China has no business there. They already seem to have some parts of Kashmir, some after Indo-China war and some were apparently gifted by Pakistan. How can somebody gift anything to someone which does not actually belong to them is beyond my comprehension, but for now I am not going to get into the Kashmir issue.

Our skirmishes with China have not been very successful. In fact we have never won a war with China. The key reason to why we lost the 1st war is generally attributed to our lack of readiness and sophistication to fight at such altitudes. Even today, China is far more superior to India militarily both in terms of quantity and quality. Our chief Air Marshal had openly stated that the capability of the Indian Air Force is far less compared to their Chinese counterparts. The Chinese are not only formidable in terms of their military but also made themselves a force to recon with in the world’s economic affairs. They are the holders of the highest amount of US dollars as ForEx reserves. While India seems to be grappling to meet the deadlines of the Common Wealth Games, China hosted the Olympic Games and left the whole world awestruck admiring the opulence they displayed. China now seems to be aggressively encroaching into the IT outsourcing business that we Indians so closely hold to our hearts.

I browsed a little on the logic behind China’s claim on Arunachal Pradesh. During the pre colonization era, the land was primarily a part of the Tibetan kingdom and some of it was with Bhutan. However, it had strong associations with the then fragmented India. This land seems to have been mentioned even in the scriptures of Maha Bharat.
After the British colonized India and united them, Arunachal Pradesh was kept as a part of India. China considers Tibet a part of their country. So as Arunachal Pradesh was pre historically a part to Tibet they do not honor the British boundaries drawn between India and China. China and India went to war over this land briefly during which China had taken over our state, but after negotiations China ceded most part of the occupied land back to India.

Recently I had read this article about the views of a man considered a Chinese Think Tank. He proposed that China should instigate religious violence between Indians and create political instability by funding naxalites and other political extremists to destabilize and fragment the country so as to establish Chinese dominance over India.

China has strong political and economic ties with Pakistan. Now they are expanding their sphere of influence to Srilanka. Most of the weapons Srilanka used to flush out the LTTE were procured from China. Even if China were to make a dramatic move like what the US did when it declared war against Iraq claiming they had WMD, I don’t think the international bodies can do much apart from churning out verbal and written statements deploring the act.

What is happening here is that we Indians are at the brink of being taken over by a nation which is both militarily and economically stronger than us. What can we do to stop this?

The only way I see out of this is ‘If you can’t beat them, join them’. i.e., collaborate instead of compete. We’ll need to increase our diplomatic and political ties with China. Commerce between the two countries needs to increase dramatically. We need to gel ourselves with China such that we are seen as a joint force, however we should maintain our identity as Indians and not allow ourselves to be overshadowed. By becoming a dominant and indispensable political and commercial ally of China, they will not want to destabilize India as it would hurt their own interest. India can also reap rich dividends by getting exclusive entry into the Chinese markets.

Learned my first song on the guitar

“Papa kehethe hai…” has become the 1st song that I have managed to play on the guitar. While I haven’t yet learned the lyrics, I am quiet confident of playing the tune strumming pattern that sets the tune for it.

I am pretty happy with this humble achievement. This feat gives me the courage and drive that I need to continue learning to play this instrument.

My fingers always remind me of the excruciating pain I felt when the guitar strings initially used to pierce into my then sensitive skin. These two months have made them so hard that I hardly feel anything on the tips of my left hand now. I had willingly decided to part with my hyper sensitive finger tips which used to convey the minute details of the texture and form of the surface that I just grazed through a with ticklish feeling. The sensitive skin on my worthy left hand finer tips have given way to layers to hard dead skin with dips resembling that of the strings in a guitar and now have a high threshold to any kind of sensation. I knew this was a sacrifice I had to make. The death of all the skin cells covering my finger tips can only be justified by the output of my efforts. Thus, it makes my feat today a landmark achievement. There are many more milestones that need to be crossed. Let the songs I play be the cenotaph for the sacrifices made by my finger tips.

Is Obama noble enough for Nobel?

The Nobel Peace Prize has come under a lot of fire after they announced Obama as this year’s winner. While there are people who have hailed the decision there are some who have questioned the basis on which the peace prize is given.

I do not know Alfred Nobel’s will verbatim, but I guess what he wanted was to recognize the efforts of an individual for his contributions and achievements in reduction of standing armies between two or more nations and promotion of nonviolence.

Mr. Obama has been in office for about 9 months now and his nomination for the prize came just 2 weeks after he got elected. While Obama’s nominees would have spent decades of their lives for the cause of nonviolence, Obama has just about made his intentions clear about what he wants to do. He has been seen as a symbol of change from the notoriety associated with Bush’s regime. With his speech in the Middle-East, he intended to reposition the U.S as a nation which believed in collaboration and has urged against orchestration of all Muslim’s as terrorists. All these are intends and not actions. The actions and outcomes of Obama’s administration are largely ‘WIP’. The speeches cannot be counted as achievement and if that may be the case then most of our politician’s would be Nobel Laureates. As someone had rightly mentioned, this is like giving the Best Picture Award for a film which is still in the making. The award stands in stark irony of Gandhi being denied the award in spite of being nominated 5 times. This award risks the credibility of the Nobel Peace Price and its judges.

While Obama has himself accepted that he didn’t deserve the award, he was stopped short of refusing to take the award. He should have appealed to be re nominated after he’d got the chance to convert his intentions to action. Though this would have invoked the ire of the Nobel jury, this act would have been globally appreciated and elevated his standing in the minds of people world over.

I feel that this award was more of a political move than a prize recognizing achievements. Obama’s administration will have to think real hard about they would want to deal with other nations. Now the Obama’s intend of increasing the number of troops will fall under the microscope. Each fallen U.S soldier will be like nuclear fuel for the critics and the media. Issues in Iraq, Iran and North Korea cannot be swept under the carpet. Though Obama said that he intends to close Guantanamo Bay, the words are yet to be realized into actions.

This award is a political move well thought off by 5 Norwegian judges who did their part to ensure that U.S’s actions from now on should be towards promoting peace and not indulge in mindless skirmishes to fulfill their selfish needs. Hence, though this award does no justice to the achievements, it will definitely help in instilling peace in the coming years of Obama’s regime.

Visiting the Golden Temple

All of us including the little Arav made a trip to a temple which is known as the Golden Temple. I had my doubts on whether the whole temple was actually made of gold or was it painted so to give its name. The elaborate security arrangements at the entrance of the temple complex added some credibility to the claim. This place was unlike any of the temples that I have been to before. The temple complex shaped like a star covered a vast amount of area. The whole place was kept clean with no banana peels or empty plastic bottles lying around. The way to the temple was through a star shaped pathway that spanned across the complex which was surrounded by beautiful gardens dotted with beautiful fountains. They even had an artificial waterfalls set up. Refreshment and souvenir counters were strategically placed to attract maximum clients. The temple was a sight to behold. It was surrounded by a pool which was littered with coins, currency notes and bangles in spite of posters which tell them specifically not to do so. The light from the afternoon sun was gleaming off the gold which covered the temple. The huge chandeliers inside the temple with added to the bling. The deity could be clearly seen in the inner sanctum sanctorum of the temple lit by all the gold surrounding it. In fact the deity was the only structure which wasn’t gold. I tried to concentrate and capture a mental picture of the sight as no cameras were allowed inside.

It made me wonder the reasons behind making this temple. Were the intentions purely to serve god or was it a marketing idea to create an USP for the temple there by attracting audience.

Intentions being godly I mean, the temple being constructed this way in gold so as to appease some gods or such a construction would attract positive energy and disperse it to its visitors. Priority is given to the gods. The healing powers or the mythological legend make people flock the place.

The other intention is making it unique to attract the maximum number of people. Such a land mark construction will increase the value of the surrounding land and there by support business development and increase revenues. Priority is given to the attractiveness to get more people to flock the place.

I don’t disapprove of whatever it might be of the two as it finally comes down to the target audiences which are us mortals and not gods. Some come for the powers they believe the temple wields. Some come to get mental peace and some visit from just a tourist point of view. So there are ‘believers in the power of the temple’, ‘People coming to mental peace irrespective to the god in place’ and ‘the tourists’. I think the objective of the temple would be to convert the tourists to people getting mental peace or believers of the power of the temple, who would intern attract more people and so on.

As for me, I’ll put myself in the tourist stage. I liked the place. These was no instance of hard selling of the temples services at any point of time, just cartful walkthroughs and displays to kindle your wants. The ambience was pleasant; though I would not call that was being mentally refreshed. The golden temple looked like how they show heaven on TV. The only thing missing were the clouds. It did pray but the temple didn’t make me a believer of that deity.

In all it was a pleasant trip for the whole family and the 1st temple darshan for my lil’ nephew. Hari Om…

Achan Amma back to Pondy

I have been missing my parents the whole week because of the fact that Amma is in the same city and I haven’t been able to see her and relish her delicacies. Amma said she would like to stay with me for some time, but I am sure that if she won’t like it. My cold demeanor will soon get the best of her. Achan and I share a very silent bond with each other. We don’t express what we feel about each other but somehow acknowledge that we got each others back, at least that’s what I intend to express. I guess there is too much testosterone between us to make room for emotions.

Amma and Achan will leave for Pondy tomorrow. I feel bad that I wasn’t able to spend much time with them while they were here. Now that Achan is transferred back to Pondy, I am sure they’ll have a chilled out time together.

Life was come a full cycle for them. They got married, chilled out together for some time. Then they got us two, raised us and sent us flying our own ways. Now, they are back together chilling out. I am really happy for them. Chetan and Chechi have begun their cycle with little Arav now. I am not sure I’ll ever feel mature enough to take this epic journey.

I haven’t been able to do anything significant for Achan and Amma so I have tried my best to at least not lean on them anymore. I’ll have to aim for a significant jump in my earnings then may be contribute for the new Kerala home or a holiday outside. I have my targets set and course charted, I just need to take off now.
Will be there, will do that.

New world

Saw the film ‘Wake up Sid’ yesterday. The irony is that I had a hard time waking up today after coming back from last night’s show. The movie has a woman coming to Mumbai to make her career. Though she is completely new to the city, has no job at hand and doesn’t know anybody, she isn’t afraid. She is overjoyed that she has got a fresh start, appreciates what she sees in the city and looks forward to the opportunities that it would present.

I’ll be leaving my country for the first time all alone with no job at hand. This shouldn’t scare me. I made the decision to go because of the opportunities it would present. I must value the opportunities that this foreign land would present. Not knowing anyone is just what’s needed to start afresh. It will also help me realize the value of things I have now and take for granted; my family, job, friends, my countrymen. I will not be afraid. I need to be looking forward to the all the new people, places and experiences that will come to me to become an integral part of my life.

Push…

I can’t think of anything that I should write about, but I have taken a resolution to continue with the routine of waking up early and maintaining a journal for a month at the very least. As Achan quotes from ‘The Monk who sold his Ferrari’, it takes 21days to make anything a habit. It’s just been a few days now and I am already thinking of excuses. I wanted to read too, to expand my outlook and vocabulary. I should try to accommodate both during these morning hours. It’s during these instances that I feel like I am pushing myself too far, but I need to understand that there is nothing Herculean about what I am dong right now, its all in my mind, everything is achievable if you put your mind to it.

I got my first real 6 string

I got my first real 6 string yesterday. I always wanted to play the drums but had to settle for the guitar due to practical reasons. It’s been one month since I have been strumming on Maddy’s guitar and I felt ready to own one of my own. I am headstrong about learning to play this instrument. I have seen so many of my friends jumping into learning this with full gusto but ultimately give up. So now I know what I’ll be facing. This inspires me even further to tame this dragon as it’s portrayed to be and make it my friend.

Learning an instrument is tough. It needs the same amount of determination, willpower and effort as you would need to bring out a 6 or 4 pack abs. People always start with great vigor and enthusiasm, spending long hours and bragging about how long they have been practicing. After some time, which is typically 2 months, the time spent learning gradually reduces and they start blaming everything around them (usually work) due to which they have to skip practice. By the end of this phase you start questioning the reasons behind taking up this initiative. You start piling up reasons on why you shouldn’t be playing the guitar. Some of them being:
You are a left hander you are not meant to play a right handed guitar.
Your fingers are too small and lack strength.
Your mind is not tuned to play the guitar; you wanted to learn drums, why do you have to strain your brain like this.
You are too old to learn. And so on…

All you need to do while having these thoughts is that understand you are not the only one who has had to face this kind of situation. There might be millions who are/were going through the same phase and majority of them dropped out. But you should realize that even Slash or A.R Rahman went through the exact same phase. The difference was that they carried on no matter what. You should stand firm on your reason to play the guitar whoever trivial and invalid it may eventually seem to be. That’s exactly how Slash became Slash. The easy part is that there is no pressure on you to be as good as Slash, so you are under a more conducive atmosphere to learn than him. You just need to remember that once you across these 3-4 months practicing; you can look back and say I never gave up no matter how bad I am at it and this willpower takes me a cut above the rest makes me a better individual.

The house and the jury

The flipside of writing everyday is that the entries look like a log book about what I did or am planning to do that day. When I write occasionally, I try to put down those thoughts that have been lingering time and again. These thoughts would have gone through several rounds of deliberation and debate. I visualize several scenarios of discussion forms, where I have my imaginary people discussing for and against a topic. It’s like playing chess with oneself. Whatever you do, you can’t hide your strategy from your opponent and you always know what the opponent is up to. I have hardly played chess, but I guess a game like this can only end up in a stalemate unless you become partial to one side and ‘rig’ the game to your supporting side’s favor.

Debating with yourself is different because here you are not always thinking about winning or taking sides. Even if you are, you’ll always give your best shot to counter the point that you are in favor of. This way you’ll have to think of better reasons to validate your support to a particular side and it will go on until one side is out of counter arguments. This way the final verdict make you more confident on why you have taken a particular stand and your conscience fully support your actions based on your stance.

However, the system is not as impartial as it seems to be. You can bribe the opposing team into turning the decision into your favor and put it in such a way that your conscience, ‘the jury’, let’s it pass.

Let me give a simple scenario:

12.50 P.M: I need to wake up at 6 A.M today and practice guitar and finish my journal.

6.00 A.M:
Side A: Wake up; you have to finish what you have planned for yesterday.
Side B: But I slept late last night, I feel so tired

Side A: This is just laziness talking, once you get up you’ll get over it.
Side B: I played the guitar last night and I can always practice once I reach home from office. I’ll finish my work and leave office early. This way I’ll also have time to finish my journal tonight with fresh thoughts.

Side A: But what about your resolution to wake up early everyday?
Side B: Relax, can’t you feel the cold morning breeze, this is the perfect time to bury yourself in that soft pillow and sleep. The body needs adequate sleep too. But I agree with you, I do need to wake up early. So from tomorrow onwards I’ll sleep early so that waking up won’t be such a bitch. To make things fair, I’ll sleep now and reset the alarm to 7 A.M and we can have the same discussion again to see if there needs to be a change of plan.

Side B: ok…

Conscience verdict: Yeah, I think he is right, the body needs sleep to and we are anyways having another round of discussion at 7 A.M. Sleep now.

The force within

I wanted to write but for quite some time it’s just been a thought. My drive to write took a hit when I realized that the destination that I so passionately pursue didn’t really exist. My state of mind could be equated to the day one realizes Superman doesn’t really exist. With all the stories, articles and pictures you always hoped in the back of your mind that you could understand something the others don’t and one day Superman is going to land right in front of those who scorned you. One day it hits you that he is just a figment of imagination created by the writers of Marvel comics. All your hopes of flying through the clouds and chasing out evil monsters come crashing down. You are never going to say those lines you memorized rigorously when you thought you’ll meet Superman for the first time. The person who made you think that you had the potential to take on the universe didn’t exist. It breaks your heart.

Then as time goes by you move on to the normal existence where limits are set to possibilities. There is still a thin thread of hope lingering inside you that you just can’t manage to break off, so all you can do is disregard it and carry on. With passing time you try to make sense of why it’s still holding on and then try to understand that it stands for.

Superman exists, but not like that we thought he would. He is a representation of the infinite potential that one possesses once one truly believes in himself. His stories and adventures are just personifications of the evils that battle every individual in his life. When he soars the skies through galaxies he makes you understand that there is so much out there than what we see now and that our possibilities are infinite.

I can still fly through clouds and fight evil monsters; I just need to change my viewpoint on the existence of Superman. I shouldn’t restrict myself to thinking about Superman as a physical form rather base my trust on his philosophy. This way I am in control of my drive. Never depend on others to motivate you, look into yourself and you’ll find a lot of things you have done that can fire you up.

“Impossible is Nothing”