Being ambitious or a perfectionist puts a lot strain into a relationship. Its detrimental to the person they are with as they’ll be bogged down with the pressure of not being able to be match up with the expectation that is being imposed on them due to the flawlessness displayed by the purist.
A partner would prefer the other to have some flaws so that he/she can be content of being better in that area or be happy with the fact that they have an opportunity to take the credit of reducing their partner’s short comings. Sometimes they would not exactly prefer or expect the other to improve beyond their level, rather show improvement which puts their partner at par or lightly lesser than them so that they still hold the title of being masters in that area.
A perfectionist will want his or her partner to improve in some areas to measure up to his/her own stature. This causes a not of stress for the partner if he/she isn’t really focused on that area and is unwillingly pulled into it. It makes the partner feel miserable because they feel that they are not good enough. It demoralizes and severely diminishes the feeling of self worth of that person.
There are mainly two ways by which a person tries to deal with a obsessive partner.
1. Not trying to compete in that area at all.
2. Positioning the area that the partner is good at as vain, trivial and not worth the effort.
Each has its on side effects on both the perfectionist and the partner. The first method disappoints the perfectionist that he/she is unable to inspire his/her partner to match up to his/her expectations. The partner might take a hit on his/her own self-esteem as he/she might feel that they are being looked down upon by others.
The second method if successful causes a steep drop in the feeling of self worth in the minds of the perfectionist. He/she tries to mask his/her superiority in that area and plays down any attempt to showcase his/her supremacy with regards to that area
This is what I think the purist and his/her partner needs to do…
The perfectionist needs to accept his/her partner for what he/she is and not try to impose their ideals. He/she must learn to appreciate difference in the thought process of their partner which will help widen the range of his/her own perspective.
The partner of the perfectionist needs to learn to appreciate the qualities of the perfectionist and not try to trivialize his/her qualities. Rather than seeing their superiority in a particular area as being detrimental to his/her own self worth, it should be seen as a wonderful opportunity to get to get inspired and upgrade themselves to become better individuals.
Another way they deal with your superior aptitude in a particular area is by not trying to compete in that area at all.
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