The house and the jury

The flipside of writing everyday is that the entries look like a log book about what I did or am planning to do that day. When I write occasionally, I try to put down those thoughts that have been lingering time and again. These thoughts would have gone through several rounds of deliberation and debate. I visualize several scenarios of discussion forms, where I have my imaginary people discussing for and against a topic. It’s like playing chess with oneself. Whatever you do, you can’t hide your strategy from your opponent and you always know what the opponent is up to. I have hardly played chess, but I guess a game like this can only end up in a stalemate unless you become partial to one side and ‘rig’ the game to your supporting side’s favor.

Debating with yourself is different because here you are not always thinking about winning or taking sides. Even if you are, you’ll always give your best shot to counter the point that you are in favor of. This way you’ll have to think of better reasons to validate your support to a particular side and it will go on until one side is out of counter arguments. This way the final verdict make you more confident on why you have taken a particular stand and your conscience fully support your actions based on your stance.

However, the system is not as impartial as it seems to be. You can bribe the opposing team into turning the decision into your favor and put it in such a way that your conscience, ‘the jury’, let’s it pass.

Let me give a simple scenario:

12.50 P.M: I need to wake up at 6 A.M today and practice guitar and finish my journal.

6.00 A.M:
Side A: Wake up; you have to finish what you have planned for yesterday.
Side B: But I slept late last night, I feel so tired

Side A: This is just laziness talking, once you get up you’ll get over it.
Side B: I played the guitar last night and I can always practice once I reach home from office. I’ll finish my work and leave office early. This way I’ll also have time to finish my journal tonight with fresh thoughts.

Side A: But what about your resolution to wake up early everyday?
Side B: Relax, can’t you feel the cold morning breeze, this is the perfect time to bury yourself in that soft pillow and sleep. The body needs adequate sleep too. But I agree with you, I do need to wake up early. So from tomorrow onwards I’ll sleep early so that waking up won’t be such a bitch. To make things fair, I’ll sleep now and reset the alarm to 7 A.M and we can have the same discussion again to see if there needs to be a change of plan.

Side B: ok…

Conscience verdict: Yeah, I think he is right, the body needs sleep to and we are anyways having another round of discussion at 7 A.M. Sleep now.